Britain has an unhealthy Relationship with its Children
As far as annoying, hackneyed phrases go, ‘political correctness gone mad’ takes the number one slot. But every so often you come across a verifiable fact which prompts you to blurt it out, unwillingly, in the same way you yell when you stub your toe. Health and safety regulations affecting children’s playtime usually do the job. Ashburton Junior School, for instance, managed to provoke a barrel-load of Daily Mail bile when it ordered children not to play in the playground 15 minutes before class in case they get hurt last year. Today, local government leaders have called on parents not to wrap their children up in cotton wool, in a carefully planned press campaign designed to rid the public of the idea that local councils are responsible for the layers of health and safety regulations which affect children.

It’s insane and hugely depressing that we even have to talk about this. It goes without saying that children’s playgrounds should have ‘adventure equipment’ –tree houses and zip wires and the like – without councils having to churn out proud press releases to go with them. But we do have to talk about it, and it all stems from our strange and unhealthy relationship with childhood.
As a country, we have a very weird relationship with children. We have turned them into a depository for our better nature. All children are now considered innocence and perfection rolled into one. While we – adults and young adults (now known commonly as hoodies) – are the opposite: evil-minded and untrustworthy. Obviously, adults are all potentially dangerous. But we have started to consider them as if they are innately dangerous. For the record, children are usually not angels. They are, in fact, as cruel and manipulative as any adult. They’re just cuter. Some modern psychology even sees them as far less moral than adults, their social brains having not been formed yet.
Read on…
In the 19th century, a German philosopher called Ludwig Feuerbach had an interesting theory on God. He said humans have a tendency to ascribe all their best qualities – compassion, kindness, love – to God and keep all their worst qualities – selfishness, hatred – to themselves. I’m simplifying to the point of inaccuracy by the way, but Hegelian philosophers make it difficult to summarise their ideas. It sometimes feels as if Britain has done this to its children. We have painted them in absurdly pastel colours, as perfect little angels, and begun to view adulthood as something inexplicably dark and worrying. We have paid a high price. More than a quarter of England’s primary schools now do not have a single male teacher, leaving 4,587 school staffrooms populated solely by women. People in the street are extra cautious even coming into contact with children, for fear of some mad accusation being made against them. The journey to adulthood has become a schizophrenic, jagged road in which our little angels are turned into threatening hoodies, a sort of sub-human faceless tribe dedicated to beating up old ladies.
The UK now regularly appears at the bottom of Unicef tables for child well-being across industrialised countries. Paradoxically, we have made our children less safe. When we distance childhood from adulthood, when we create a sterile space in between adults and children, we dis-incentivise well-meaning strangers from looking out for children in public. We make well-meaning adults think twice before they look after children walking down the street on their own. We prompt suspicion and mistrust in communities which previously did a perfectly good job of looking after children themselves.
Paedophilia – the outrage from which all of this emanates – is, scientifically, a kind of sexuality. It’s a very tragic sexuality, but a sexuality nonetheless. It’s unclear whether it can be treated, for many of the same reasons we cannot turn homosexuals into heterosexuals or visa-versa, even if we wanted to. We can enforce psychological counselling, and in some cases instigate pre-emptive incarceration if we believe someone will act on their urges. In many cases – but by no means all – the sufferer will be strong enough to resist their urges. What we cannot do – or should not do – is hand the issue over to the braying impulses of the mob. This can take the form of actual mobs, like that we saw when the News of the World irresponsibly published the names and details of convicted paedophiles in 2000, or the mob mentality of shrieking tabloid over-reactions. These merely simplify the issue and put children’s relationship with adults further into deep freeze. Parents become paranoid and that, in turn, ultimately makes children less safe.
Children are part of our culture, even if they must be protected from certain aspects of it. I’m the kind of person who generally believes Britain has much more to teach Europe than Europe has to teach us. But in this, we should take a lesson from how they go about things on the continent. Remember your last holiday in Spain or France or Italy? How children played outside in the restaurants and cafés at 11 at night, with their parents happily drinking wine beside them? In Europe, children are part of life, not a divorce from society. New parents do not withdraw into a parallel world where no fun can be had and late nights are a thing of the past. And childhood is not treated in the naive, improbably perfect way it is treated here.
When we talk of children like angels, and turn all adults into suspects, this is what happens; insane health and safety regulations, a reduction in male teachers – with all the absence of positive male roles that entails – and an increased danger to children from sexual predators because of the overly cautious approach adults now take to the young. The path we’ve walked down has taken us to a very strange place. There is a better way. We just have to get over our strange attitudes and incorporate children into society. They are not angels. They are just us, but earlier. We need to protect them. But we also need to stop losing our sanity over how perfect they are.
This comment was written by Ian Dunt for politics.co.uk and does not necessarily represent my opinion on all points he mentioned.
about 9 months ago
This is very good – thanks for lighting up my day!!
about 9 months ago
I’ve heard the term, “helicopter parents” because they hover over their children, but I think the schools and politicians are worse. Some of their decrees are so absurd that you think it’s a joke. I think that there is a link to the fear of adults, particularly men, in having anything to do with children. Who in their right mind would want to take the chance to mentor a child?
about 9 months ago
I have read some articles talking about how cell phones are keeping kids locked into parents; keeping them too dependent. I remember the time when I would get on my bike and be gone all day. Mom said, she figured that as long as I told her who I was hanging out with, it was fine. And, when I got hungry, I would come home. I got into a great deal of mischief that never turned me into a “hood.” Hell, I used to play at home construction sites, but now, good grief, these people work too hard to protect their children from the harsh realities of life. No wonder so many people need drugs to cope.
about 9 months ago
the orgasmen singers
about 9 months ago
“Adult” and “Child” are artificial, damaging categories – as anyone between the ages of 10 and 20 is fully aware. We are all *people*, and should be treated as such by each other.
about 9 months ago
The situation with few male teachers is exactly the same in the US, although I’m not sure what magnitude it’s at or why. Both my mother and father are elementary school teachers. My mother’s school doesn’t have any male classroom teachers. Zero. Nada. My father’s school has a few men, but the vast majority are women. I’ve heard that most of the reason is that fewer men are interested in elementary school education. Go figure.
BTW, I love the photograph. Those loose fitting robes look useful too.
about 9 months ago
It is true, children are people too, and they have their good and bad moments. They are exercising their ability to be good and evil and this is why they need role models, male and female at school. They are in training, and they need correction when they make mistakes and positive guidance to help them make good decisions. Each child too has their own propensity for morality, with some being more trainable than others if they are prone to making the wrong decisions.
Children do need to be protected at school and further afield but not in such a way that they are protected from all the knocks of life; otherwise we are in danger of failing to inoculate them. Too much of what happens in the UK, throws the baby out with the bathwater.
about 9 months ago
The UK is an absolute joke, I used to help run a youth club a few years back a lot of these kids were the type that were out on the streets causing trouble while their parents were in the pub round the corner getting hammered. On many occasions some of these kids could come in quite upset over things, and yet you could not go up and give them a hug or comfort them because stupid political correctness states we cannot make any physical contact because obviously your some sort of sexual predator not because you want to help them. No wonder children and adults feel so disjointed from each other, adults are scared to do anything particuarly males (a reason why there are soo few male teachers) for fear of being branded a pedofile. I have heard from teachers who are friends of the family who have had to stop kids from holding their hands or giving them a hug becuase it would land them in trouble, and they wonder why kids feel so unloved and suicide rates are on the increase.
about 9 months ago
Childhood was artificially created to protect children.
In the Middle Ages children were completely integrated in the society when they turned 7 years old.
Nowadays the trend is taking the direction of overprotection them.
I think we simple need some kind of balance between that.
about 9 months ago
Unfortunately, YouTube was forced to remove George Carlin’s Last special, “It’s all bullshit and it’s bad for ‘ya” due to copyright violation. Find it on the internet and listen to “Today’s professional parents!” it’s totally dead on!
about 9 months ago
You have to remember that Great Britain is a sick country, especially socially, but politically and economically as well. It is a result of of not listening to the people for getting on for twenty years, and slowly destroying our education system for forty. By and large ordinary British people are sensible, but our rulers, law-makers and law enforcers (bureaucrats) live in a different world. I used to be proud of my country, but what’s left to be proud of?
about 9 months ago
Here http://blog.milkboys.org/article/project-natal/#comment-34586 Uranist wrote: The technology is pretty amazing, but, of course, goes to show how scarily deprived of real interaction our society truly is. That we can interact with a computerised person is something of a step forward for human technology (though, to be honest, less of one than the polio vaccine), but that we can talk to a fake boy doesn’t mean that we should.
Perhaps one of the reasons we are so keen to talk to Milo is that we adults are effectively banned by law and society from talking to real boys – and talking to real boys is as natural as eating, a natural part of a healthy life.
Of course now that computer-produced and artist-produced erotica are being placed in the same legal category as “real” child pornography (downloading it was placed in the same legal category as *making* it several years ago) perhaps we will soon be locked up for daring to talk to Milo.
rrr
about 9 months ago
I’m quite agree.
I have been too protected, hence I had a slight social prolonged immaturity.
I regret not being able to discover the world soon.
sorry for my english …
about 9 months ago
I totally agree with Robert and Chunky! Sorry to repeat the (now) tired old cliche but here in the UK it is really “political correctness gone mad” and… dare I say it’s the fault of the liberalists wanting to “protect” our kids?